God made men to need to be significant. God made men to need to do work that has a significant impact. This is something that God thinks is special about men. God made women to be beautiful. God made women to need to make themselves beautiful and desirable. This is something that God thinks is special about women.
One way that I can tell this is because satan attacked these two areas of men and women in the garden as soon as God created them. The curses that God gave men and women after they sinned wasn’t to make their life unbearable but a natural consequence of sin in general for their specific gender. Men would have strife in their work. Women would have strife in their relationships. Both would constantly be attacked in their identity as a dearly loved child of God. These are not the only two aspects that make male and female genders unique, however, they are the two that seem to be most often attacked. satan is trying to distort the restoring of the two genders by selling part truths. satan wants us to take our significance and beauty into our own hands and pretend not to be dependent on anyone else. Sure men shouldn’t be solely defined by their work and women shouldn’t be solely defined by their beauty. But men and women have and will always need to work out the answers to these built in desires before they can be at peace with themselves. Where does beauty come from? What is really significant in this life? In Banning Liebscher‘s, “Rooted: The Hidden Places Where God Develops You” book he mentions that we need to strive to ensure that we let God define what is success and what makes us significant/valuable. It can sometimes even mean the exact same actions but when we derive our definitions from God then that changes everything in us. If God is for us who can be against us? If He is leading me, I can be patient and follow. If He wants me to succeed in this then He will provide the resources/insight I need.
One of the biggest ways the North American Christians have dropped the ball is in how they have treated / oppressed women. While my significance shouldn’t come solely from my work, God has given me an important and profoundly meaningful calling in life to create a kingdom business. My journey along this path has drawn me closer to God and helped me mature more than almost every other pursuit I have had combined. Women certainly also have callings from God to do great things but are uniquely called to be beautiful. Beauty is one of God/Love’s most inviting and healing aspects. Women certainly shouldn’t be solely defined by their outward beauty. But the Christian church has condemned women for pursuing outward beauty at all. This has created an emotional and spiritual vacuum filled with condemnation and unnecessary feelings of dissatisfaction and lack of value for women. Pursuing outward beauty is one of the defining aspects of women! I never knew that growing up. Just like pursuing business success/providing for my family is one of the many defining aspects of my manhood. Men should honour women in their pursuit of physical beauty not condemn them for it! But we need to make sure our hearts are aligned with God’s in that we honour women even more for their inward beauty of character. This also goes the other way in that women should honour men for their pursuit of meaningful work but even more for their Godly character. Some will reference 1 Peter 3:3 and say that says we shouldn’t have any value for external beauty. This wouldn’t make any sense though as God gave us beauty and desire for that. If we didn’t have any God given desire for that in each other then none of us would have ever existed because in the garden Adam and Eve wouldn’t have ever bothered to figure out how to make babies lol! Also God would have wasted His time making an infinite number of aspects of creation so beautiful. It would also be cruel to make artists that are extremely gifted but are wasting their time on art or beauty. Truely, God is the source of all beauty and one way we can partner in creation is to encourage women to constantly create new ways to make themselves and their environments beautiful.
My prayer is that this simple message will free up your relationships/marriage and empower you to love each other as the Father loves each one of us.