The premise of this post is that many people confuse the act of getting married with being married. None of this is to say that marriage is better than being single, and especially not that single people are more selfish than married people. The main part is simply that successfully staying married is inherently unselfish and difficult at times. But I am getting ahead of myself…
So what is getting Married?
Getting married is seeking to support and honor someone for the rest of your life because you recognize a special sense of God’s love for that person in you. You see the value in that person so much that you want to give the rest of your life towards getting to know them better and serving them. They are so beautiful to you that you actually start to feel yourself being incomplete without getting closer to them. Getting married is I think part of what God meant when He said, “What greater love is there than this? To give up your life for someone.” You commit to choosing them over other people, opportunities and experiences in life because of the great reward of knowing and loving that person more and more. You commit to putting their interests first because you sense the importance and essence of love, that it is the only appropriate response to beauty and the incredible worth in each person. Getting married is a reckless and absurd leap of faith often without any of the skills or resources necessary to succeed. Getting married is a financial, legal, spiritual and emotional commitment that can’t be easily undone.
What is Marriage?
Marriage is following through on all of those desires and commitments above even when you don’t feel like it. Marriage is finding the right resources and people to learn the skills necessary in order to succeed in love. Marriage is working at building into something bigger than yourself. Marriage is refusing to follow the cultural norm of being self-centered and getting what you want now. Marriage is humbling yourself by saying that you don’t know how to communicate with someone without their help. Marriage is becoming a lifetime student of your spouse. Marriage is learning how to forgive daily without regrets. Marriage is blessing someone to become more than they even see in themselves. Marriage is creating a safe environment for your spouse to make mistakes without fear of rejection. Even when those mistakes cost you
dearly. Marriage is a blessing.
I hope that if you are struggling with your marriage you will find peace in this rant. I hope that if you want to get married that you would consider yourself humbly in need of grace and not be complacent with your opportunities to give of yourself to others. I hope that if you are single that you would enjoy taking your time to grow, learning how to enjoy life more everyday.